I’m feeling relieved. And expectant and trepidatious. Yesterday my treatment came to an end. Bye bye radiotherapy and daily trips to the hospital. Hello recovery (when the swelling subsides, the soreness stops and I feel some energy flowing back into my body).
Today (the day before tomorrow) marked my physical return to work. I say return, I spent an hour drinking coffee with a friend and colleague planning a bid we think is worth funding, and another half hour flitting into the office to see lovely colleagues (and drop off my travel expenses from March). Slowly does it – don’t want to go back too soon and crash.
The day after today is the general election. I’ve still not decided how to vote. Though I’ve taken much advice I don’t know whether to go with my heart or my head. Uncharacteristically I’m flip-flopping. I’m closer to knowing what I’ll do when I walk into the polling booth tomorrow morning than I have been all week and I’ll mark it up to a series of ‘signs’. Having more time on my hands means I notice more – which in turn probably reflects that I pay more attention to things. I read more carefully, listen more closely and think a little deeper about things.
And this sums up how I’m feeling about the cancer. My head tells me to get back out there and get on with it. To be sensible, moderate and take note of the science, the facts and statistics. My heart on the other hand is winning right now. And it’s telling me to eat cake, take a walk, slow down and be mindful. I like that I have been able to do this, and feel tremendously fortunate that I live in a country that has fantastic health care (even though it’s stretched to its limit) and work in a sector that allows me time off for recovery. And I like that I live in a city with such a rich cultural history, including the birthplace of the suffragette movement.
The day after the day before tomorrow, by my reckoning, is tomorrow. The General Election on 8th June 2017 could change the future of this country for ever. I’ve had enough change for one year thank you Mrs May. Detrimental change that is. If there’s to be any more change I’d like it to be for good – and not just for me but for the majority.
Vote wisely friends.